Letter to the past

To My Dearest Friend

How have you been?We have lost touch for about 1 year.We’ve been the best of friend,remember.We knew each other inside out.You’re more than a friend to me.I’m not too sure what’s your view on this.

Remember the times when we went out looking for a job.I was so shy that I didn’t even dare to ask about the job vacancies.You’re the one who actually stepped out and open your mouth.You know me,I used to be someone who lacks confidence,someone who’s very self conscious.

I still remembered your crying face.It seemed that you’re always in a lousy mood when you said you wanted to meet me.Do you still remember that night when you said you quarreled with your mom? You asked if you could stay at my house.Initially, my parent disagree with the idea.It was only after some dispute before they finally nodded their heads.I wouldn’t leave you in the lurch,you’re like a sister to me.

I remembered you spending your night at one of your fling’s house.What I’ve said to you sounded nasty.I apologized for that.But you can’t blame me,it was out of concern.That’s what true friends do,isn’t it?

I don’t know if you think likewise.You know that I would always be there when you need me.I used to believe in treating people sincerely and they’ll be true to you.But not anymore.It might not be the case.I don’t believe that true friends exist.I’ve not been treating friends like I used to .I don’t know why.It feels like a barrier is building up within me.It’s hard for me to thrust people again.But I’m still learning.

You know that I love my family.I love to say that I hate my brothers, and you know that I don’t mean it.You know that I’m very protective towards my family.But you try to hurt them,once ,and again.First is my eldest brother,next is my younger one.I’ve got no tolerance for that anymore.

I know that you love to be loved.You love attention and I’ve never fight with you for that.It sounds kiddish.Both you and me have gone through that stage in our life.Trying to get attention from the opposite sex.love to be popular.But they are my brothers,my dear.And you ARE MY FRIEND.

I thought we’ll be friends till we’re both married,have a family and becoming grandparents.Sounds like a fairy tale with such beautiful ending.

Still remembered the time when you called me to say that you can’t turn up to replace me for work? You’re the one who volunteered to help me.But left me on my own.How do you expect me to tell the boss?It was so sudden.And the reason that you gave me was so damn idiotic.Because you don’t feel like working?And you left me there to die.

I have doubts then.Did you even take me as a friend?You look for me whenever you’re in trouble.That’s what I’ve realize.You love to say I spent too much times with my family and my boyfriend.The words that came out from your mouth were harsh.And the one that hurts so much was this .”You’ve been hovering around them for these years and it’s still not enough?Get a life.”

It hurts because you are my friend.I wouldn’t care less if it were to come out from others’ mouths.

It takes two hands to clap.I’m at fault too.True,I wasn’t sensitive towards your feelings at times.Sometimes I’m harsh towards you.But it was really tiring being your friend.I am sorry.

I don’t hate you.I’m grateful to you.you played a really important part in my growing up years.You taught me things that could never be found in my textbooks.

I wish you well for the future.please don’t go around telling people that your mum hates you.No mother would hate their child.She loves you.Learn to let go.Be more appreciative.

I’m still learning to grow up.There’s so much for me to learn outside my own world.Who knows ten years later,we’ll look back and we’ll laugh at our own foolishness.

Things have changed ever since we went our separate paths.I finally had a chance to have a feel of the cruelty of reality.I wasn’t as blur as I used to be anymore.I finally had the courage to speak up for myself(depending on the circumstances).I wasn’t as gullible as before.How about you?Have you changed?Do you still cry a lot?

There’s so much that I would like to say to you.The good and bad times we’ve been through.The laughter and tears we’ve once shared.

I don’t know why things will turn up to be like this.Or maybe we do.Some knots could never be untied.I thank you for all the beautiful memories you’ve left behind.

I’ll always remember you.